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The Terrible Taunting Twinkie Tale
So the Twinkie is dead. Unless you’ve been under a rock, or camped out like a lunatic outside a Best Buy in anticipation of Black Friday door openings, this is not news. But here, the battle has just...
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The Molten Marshmallow Mishap: A Love Story
Back in high school, a good 20 years ago, I went on a camping trip with a bunch of not-so-camperific friends. It was like The Breakfast Club takes a field trip. There was a Hippie Princess, the Spaz,...
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Screw Charity, We Just Want Your Money
The Maine Mall at Christmas was one of my favorite things as a child. It was noisy, crowded, decorated within an inch of its life, and in center court there was a great singing display of elves and...
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You Keep Using That Word. I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means
You know the one – Resolutions. This time of year that word gets thrown about with abandon. Everyone makes so many resolutions – lose weight, quit smoking, find a new job, be nicer, read more, use the...
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Things A Pilot Should Never Say For $2000, Alex
What is Ctrl, Alt+Del? I’m a lousy flier. I start getting anxious the moment the flight gets booked, and my brain just kind of spirals off into nuts until I am home again. Oddly enough, I am not afraid...
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Let’s Chat. Or Not.
Chat features. Just the word chat is a good indicator that I won’t be on board. I don’t really chat. I talk, I discuss, I rant (duh), I rail on incessantly and have occasionally broken into a...
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This Is The Part Where I Freak Out
This week? Can suck it. I’ll save you the gory details and provide a bullet list of you-have-to-be-kidding to bring you to the final scene, which was very nearly my breaking point. And as a relevant,...
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I’m Educational! Seriously, Don’t Let This Happen To You
So…it’s been a while. I’ve missed you all. As much as an anti-social recluse can miss imaginary friends. But it’s as much as I have to give. And today I am going to tell you a story – a cautionary...
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A Personality Test Designed To Drive You Insane
Take this test. Don’t over analyze it, just look at the images and select an answer. If you are epileptic, do NOT take this test. A bunch of us took it and were astonished by how accurate it is....
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Screw Equality, That’s Some Freaky Sh*t
I’m sure you’ve seen this today – on Facebook, Twitter and other social media sites. Just in case you have been living under a rock and don’t get it, here’s a two sentence education: The symbol stands...
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A for American History Do-Over
Eli Whitney invented the Cotton Gin. In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue… Rosa Parks! That’s some 5th grade History name dropping, right there. And because of the way we teach history, by the time...
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B is for Bully
Bullying has been in the news all over the place lately, the most recent one in my area being the suicide of a 12 year-old girl. Such a tragic, unnecessary loss of life. Suicide is obviously the...
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C for Corporations Are People, Too
Corporation 1. an association of individuals, created by law or under authority of law, having a continuous existence independent of the existences of its members, and powers and liabilities distinct...
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Aaand Now I’m A Criminal?
That was my breaking news this morning. I am a criminal. But it was totally an accident. A little background to this revelation: In February, my bank account was compromised, a hefty sum was withdrawn...
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We Got an F’n F???
The State of Maine recently announced the “grade” of the public school in our town. The one our little is about to enroll in for Kindergarten. And yep, we got an F. That clearly stands for “Frightening...
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The Day I Killed My Father
My father was strong. He was a hard worker, with lively eyes that sparked with kindness and a silly sense of humor. He loved his family, and was quick to help friends. My whole life I was aware of his...
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So. It Seems I Am Not So Good At This
So I have this thing about eyebrows. Mine are wicked uneven and it makes me look half surprised, half angry. So I regularly reel them in. But I’m cheap, so I do it myself. And I am not so hot at it. I...
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Meme This
I’m snide. And sarcastic. And I have an atrocious pirate vocabulary. But really, it’s not my fault. It’s on account of the world sucking. This has made me angry and bitter and impatient. Except. The...
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Bloggers Wanted. No, Seriously.
Okay, it is time to light a fire underneath a plan I devised quite some time ago, inspired by my very funny friend Andi Brunett at The World 4 Realz, and her desire to elevate Dino Dogan’s Triberr to...
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I Am the Center of A Cosmic Conspiricy of the Absurd
I overslept. All the way through my first client, until the little woke me up just before 10 AM, hungry. Crap! I have never, in 4+ years, missed a call due to something like this. I was on my feet,...
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